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Patricia Estrellla.
born on [February 12] and I'm sweet[16]. I study at [St. Joseph] as a second year high school student! I LOOOVE clothes, shoes, food, music, hair and make-up (what girls don't?) so you will see a lot of that kind of content in my blog. If you know me well, you'd learn that I'm actually kind of nerdy, down to earth, real, and definetly NOT like anyone else.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009 - 8:21 AM
it was so condescending...
Back to top, baby.
music: photobooth - death cab for cutie
mood: pissed but calm

I hate when my dreams confuse me and throw me off. But even more, I hate when I get fucked over time and time again in real life.

I don't know if I talk a lot about guys in this thing, but lately there isn't anyone to talk to. Call me a loner or something, but March Break makes me depressed coz all I really do is watch tv and eat cereal and stalk random celebs on twitter. SO yeaaa I'm just gonna spill the beans

There's someone who makes me feel soooooo happy and flustered but always seems to haunt my heart.

an open letter, I know you'll never read it, or get it, and if you do (which i hope u dont) please never talk to me ever again lol.... :(

Dear You:
You have done nothing wrong. So don't ever feel like you have. It's just that I have really no idea why I fell/fall/down for you because I barely know you and I hate it because I just want to move on. But you're just there. I have to keep reminding myself that it's clear you're not interested and you're just not into me. So I keep giving up because I come to my senses but by some failure of God I try to pry myself into your heart again and again. & I just embarass myself in the process. The worst thing about it is i don't want anyone else and I don't even know you that well. So really, how the fuck is this possible? Why am I making such a big deal out of u? I should know better to give my heart to someone who doesnt care. You won't/dont/will never know how I feel or UNDERSTAND it so whats the friggin point in trying to prove to u that I'll be there for u? I wish I knew how you felt so I could atleast hide from you or know to keep trying because part of this whole struggle is because I have never felt so obnoxiously smitten that I want to see and talk and be with you but I'm too scared that I'm being too forward that I actually will distance myself so far away. Everyone says we all love the chase so girls should know better to chase guys.... who are just running away. But I hate the chase. and I hate complicatedness. So in essence, I hate the way I feel right now.

Dear Friends:
Is something *legit* messed with me? Have I finally reached the ladder from "pretty chill girl" to "desperate ho" status?
I think I'm just not in my usual self's happy mood these days.