Proof that my best friend is ACTUALLY a dude

" MERMEX ktbpa says: (12:50:03 AM)
MY DICK IS HARD"

I'm not surprised. I was so close to losing it, and she didn't even have to ask how close.

I effing LOVE afflickie <3 my LOVE!
08.19.69 SINCE '69 BAAYBEH

I don't keep track of how often we bond(-age) ahhaha (not me and afflickie, me & monchron) but it's not frequent. However, when we do talk she's the only person capable to making me laugh the most and still talk to :*)

I usually doubt that best friends ARE real... even though I say it, but like.... it's not about how many times you see him or her, how many times you spend time with him or her, but how every time you do it all explodes in happiness, regardless of if the time someone is pissed the fuck off, best friends are there for the important times and willing to help, they never let you down.
BRB KILLING MYSELF OVER CORNINESS.

For example, This whole year I kind of doubted Eleisha because she wouldn't call, go on msn. She spent more time with Mabel than me, even at school. I'm fine with that because we still never feel that we drift when we're talking.

Emily on the other hand is like.. gone. And has my stuff, lol. I really love this girl, I consider her my best firends, but even when I try to contact her she would make no effort to reply, or contact me. She clearly has other friends, and that's cool. Sometimes I just want to be there to look out for her, though.

But yeah, LIFE GOES ON. No more sulking.
I've got the greatest friends. Tim, Danny, and Janvir make me feel so comfortable and it's never awkward because of how we communicate, it's like they're my brothers, and I love them SO much :)

I guess when you're in a family unwilling to make the slightest bit interest interest in you, you turn to your friends!
Don't get my wrong, my mom and my dad love me, but I feel as if they don't really give a shit about how happy I am just as long as they know where I'm going, how long 'til, who its with, and how I'll get there/home. Maybe that is the way they show it, but it's a crappy way, IMO..
If there's one thing for sure, it's my sister who isn't willing AT ALL to act her age or her role in my life to me. I fucking do everything for her AND Jace and she won't clean the fuck up... The mess and her act. And I don't clean up either, but I'll always end up cleaning JACE's stuff. I understand you're busy with school/work and shit but that's no excuse for treating me as a parasite. I run up to hug you and you fucking push me away and say ew. You think I do it just to annoy you but I just say that to other people because they don't fucking understand you like I do. If I told them I meant it, HOW EMBARRASSING would that sound? I love my sister but she hates me and always have. I know I said this before, but Jace hates me, and I think it's because Pia and Joe do. Sometimes I get it that they're just teasing me, but when does kidding around cross the line and hurts people? You obviously don't give a shit, and how foolish was it for me to keep trying? Caroline was right, what's the point of being nice to someone when it's CLEAR that they're being rude and won't be the same to you back. I've tried already, how many times...? If I'm a bitch, you'll just get bitchier, but I'M NOT GIVING YOU SHIT until you fucking grow up and become a sister. 15 years of your absence of love substituted with presents and drives from point a to point b. I appreciate that, but it still means nothing because they are mindless things. Buying presents, being forced to do something for me. How does that show your love? The only thing I truly respect was that christmas card you didn't give me or finish that I found the next day.
Maybe I'm bitter because other people have nicer siblings, but hey, if you have a sibling, don't ever take them for granted because you're really LOSING A LOVED one without them actually leaving.


When will you stop treating me as worthless and see how much I sacrifice for you?
When will you stop this bad girl image. You say you love me but I don't for one second buy it because you're back to ur bitch ass ways sooner or later. Of course it's to cover up how much you "love me" but if you can't prove it, I guess it's not true. Stop giving me something to hope on, it just makes things worse. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HOPE FOR IT.

Anyways, sorry for the MADD ventage (you're damn right that's a madd with double d's) but yeah. LOVE is being stressful at the moment.
The guy I thought I liked... isn't the same to me anymore. We talked for a while but I'm not really into him anymore, well at all. I just lost interest. Everyone says he likes me now, and it's probably not true, atleast I hope so because I really hate leading people on or avoiding them I just insist on them stop liking me. So he keeps trying to get at me, and I keep dodging these bullets. It's hard for me to reconfirm why I'm not interested, but I'm actually positive now that it's because as soon as someone I'm interested in (actually it doesnt matter, this goes for everyone except girls that are friends... just boys) is quickly showing affection to me, I HAVE to get the fuck outta the situation because I'm scared. I honestly am, of commitment, love,I like to take things really slow, and I like to love people after I know them. I'm convinced that the only guys I will date have to go through this three step program

1. become my best friend
2. ???
3. profit

(steps 2 and 3 stolen form underwear gnomes of South Park)
hahhaah well, the first one is a big step.

Just a tip fellas, if you can make me "LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG" then ur halfway there :P

Labels: family, fuck, hate, life, love, south park