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M is for Music P is for Profile (and Phatee)  Patricia Estrellla.
born on [February 12] and I'm sweet[16]. I study at [St. Joseph] as a second year high school student! I LOOOVE clothes, shoes, food, music, hair and make-up (what girls don't?) so you will see a lot of that kind of content in my blog. If you know me well, you'd learn that I'm actually kind of nerdy, down to earth, real, and definetly NOT like anyone else. Please visit my FLICKR &  BLOGGER PROFILE
C is for Cbox! F is for Friends Get a blog spot so i can link you here :) Allison A. Pia E. (sister) Regine M. (cousin) Andrea C. Vicky T. Danny N. Shauna S. Natashya C. Jamie V. Diandra S. Chris L. Deborah H. Micah V. Cherry Anne M. Nkechi N. Karina C. Ysabel G. myspace  A is for Archives
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music: "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Michael Jackson mood: chill beans
That was my trip to UK & France! I can't wait for the next big trip! Hawaii 2010 for my sister's wedding should come in no time! Labels: europe, family, london, parentals, paris, planes trains and automobiles, summer 09, travel 0 HEARD 'EM SAY OMG I keeeeeeeeeep watching Pineapple Express... I can't help it, my love is too good, TOO GOD. Damn, I want a Daewoo, now................. bahaha. Hmmm lets see... Today I...
Every year my family hosts a Sto. Nino fiestatingdembout at St. Ambrose church where u can basically dance with ur lil Jesus guy and eat for free and attend mass or whatever.... But somehow every year someone manages to steal a sto. nino... who does that :( lol... it's lolable I guess, tho... Today we had a little mini sweet 16 party for me and my cousin Cassie... even though my bday isnt for another like 2-3 weeks? I can't wait til I'M G1 CERTIFIED!!! Except I'll have to wait like what another 8-12 months to take the driving test :'(... Anywho uhmmm I loved what Tita Bess got me =************)
I know Pia's reading this and getting pissed because she thinks the Mustang is only for her but I'm honestly not gonna be driving for a long time... So "hold your horses" TEE HEE I'M CLEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR.. Skins was sooo weirrrd. Effys a scally, but I loove her. The season premiere wasn't that great... however they DID manage to play some WU TANG!!!... Fred or whatever (sceney skater guy) pisses me off but so does the BJ tattoo guy......... UGH!!! I fuckin miss season 1 & 2! SID AND CASSIE :(!!!! Speaking of BJs (hahaha) GSP x BJ PENN fight next week....ever since Joe's been working at that place at night we rarely spend weekend nights doing something fun... just BUMMING AROUND, so I doubt I'll be seeing that CUTIE GSP tear it up next wek...... hmmmmmmmmmmm........... I pray that GSP wins! Why am I still up doing nothing but blogging, I do not know... 0 HEARD 'EM SAY MMMMMMMOOOOOOothafucka ahdshdjashd hahalalalhalallahalalahalala I'm grounded if YA HAVEN'T HEARD til February coz I.... "lost my virginity to batman on deck" hahaha I'm totally fucking with you. I skipped Religion so of course my parents "ground" me until February. WHO DOES THAT SRSLY. Religion is my first period and I didn't go because I didn't feel like it on Wednesday with Nikki, Miarka, Marteina and Joshuelle. We planned to make Hladin bring down the attendance and erase our names from absent but that SLY FOX OF A SUPPLY TEACHER (!!!) took it down himself. MOTHA FOCK. I honestly have never skipped before except during buyouts, last days of schools, vacations, "snow days" (aka bus cancellations) but my parents have always allowed me on those days...
RANDOM SHIT
Anyfucks, why do I keep swearing. FUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASUCKAPHREEEEEEEEEEEEEE Someone make me a free jitz/free yayo/phree phatee/free free (from bet hahaha) shirt....*COUGH* MONICA*COUGH* 0 HEARD 'EM SAY  Cherry Anne, I saw ur cousin (I think) at american apparel (if u even read this blog lol <3)!It seems like the hate in those house grows more and more each day and its slain towards me. I can't bring myself to hug anyone but my dad and I just want to never talk to anyone. So glad I got the big hoodie because its much warmer than the coldness I'm getting from every one. It's so comfortable and it makes up for how uncomfortable I feel around everyone. Retail therapy certainly worked its wonders at a price.... Today I went to Sherway with Monica and Tim. Due to some fucked up arrangements I made (a MISTAKE no one really gets or wants to understand) my day just felt horrible. But I love them so much...Honestly you know how close a relationship with people are when u can cry in front of them and smile a second later. I fucking love these kids to deaaath. HOW ABOUT.. those times I was forgotten nearly an hour after the school bell rang. They weren't uncommon. Or how about how you bring me anywhere I want... I admit I don't thank you enough but if the case were that I was the one with a lisence and a few more years of experience, YOU KNOW THINGS would be different. I'm not a bad sister and you know it. Try being Pia's younger sister. You'll discover embarassement and being ashamed of who you are as if my self-esteem isn't low enough. The only way to fight the insecurities of having your own sister not love you by arguing with her to show how you aren't weak. To hide how jealous you are that your own sister seems to love her cousins more than you. To have your own nephew hate you just like your sister did so even if she does mature into loving you, there's a second wave of hatred. I waited until you had your baby to see that if you discovered true love through Jace, you could open your heart and allow me into it. How would you defend yourself in this position? I know I'm so sensitve but I'm just having a really bad week. I'm kind of shocked at the fact that if I'm sad.... the natural response I get from this house is to make me feel even worse, especially if it's my fault. Not even taking into account that people make mistakes. I'm not even going to say anything else. 2 HEARD 'EM SAY I'm in a state of shock(er). lol stfu, monica. "REALTALKS" This morning I was crying so much because I woke up late today. Wait, I'm getting there. I was late today so I barely was ready, I didn't know where my shoes were, so I missed the bus that gets me to school... ON TIME. I made my dad bring me to school... He usually hates doing that because he works sometimes night shifts and is too tired. But I made him bring me anyways because YEAH I JUST really hate being late. SO on our way to school, some people stop on the main road, Creditview and just drop off kids in front of the school coz they're lazy or whatever and it takes too much time. This one car stopped so my dad was like, k get off and whatever and stopped as well. As I was getting off, I felt the car move forward and my seatbelt restrict me. To my surprise, we a car had bumped us and I just left because I was too scared. I hate doing when something so fucking random like this happens. I felt that it was all my fault and I was just too embarassed to get to class like this I just kinda broke down at my locker with Emily <3. I was really emo this whole day though. Accidents are the worst, I'm telling you. Our family is decent, working class but it's hard to live the way we do. I adore my parents for working so hard to give the best living to me, my sister, jace, joe, and angel and I know how hard it is to make us all happy. Sometimes it seems like we live luxuriously but is it really luxurious when we're working so hard to live like htis that in the end its value grows worthless because it doesn't even make us happy? I buy the things that I buy because I have a job and because I need it. I can dream but I won't always have it. And we share our dreams with each other the same way we share our grievences. I don't live a fucking hard knock life, I live a good life with hard knocks, like every family. I hate how I'm just realizing this now. Anyways, Religion I had pip program.. I don't even know how to approach Veronica's learning methods. This too, opened my eyes. I always think of how her family copes with shit, you know? I 'm glad I met her, she's also adorable. For Halloween she's Hannah Montana. I FEEL like I understand her so much, even though she can't talk. Math WAS STUPID I'M SO STUPID. I completely lost everything I knew, but I got to sit with lean and talk about "no one else comes close" lmfao. I hate physics. PERIOD. I love French because our unit is about cultures. MAN <3 oh man... I love learning about the globe... and that Discovery channel commercial is damn catchy lolz. I got hooome and... there were holes at the back of my dads car. I was like.. okay... what the fuck coz like.. they were holes... I inspected it further and they lookde like bullet holes... They were adhesives though.. Does this man think he's slick? Trying to trick me.. I think he could tell how scared and guilty I felt when I stormed off, lol. I had a napppppy, made noodles, watched gg... and.... shit my ballz. WHAT THE HELLL JENNY :@ :@ U PREGO. max and willa (i forgot her nmae in the show) were damn annoying and too "hipstered out" FUCKING AHTED MAX LIKE WHO DA FUCK HE THINK HE IS ugh it's kinda getting annoying. I love Jenny working at Eleanors.... I think it's a better path and promises a good future than hanging out with hipsters I'M SORRY BUT like.... bah. MAYBE she'll find success.... She looks talented. I don't know, she has potential just not with her new friends, fucking hate them. Hopefully they won't be as mean and bitchy as Eleanor (major bitch tips) ANYWAYS I SLAVED OVER MY MATH HOMEWORK, can't bring myself to tell you how many pages I fucking used :@ But ATLEAST it's over and done with. Peace. Labels: family, fuck, hate, real talks 0 HEARD 'EM SAY I went to Springridge farm yesterday with my family and Jace. I didn't buy admission for myself, though.... I was kinda in a bad mood getting there. While waiting I honestly wanted to cry. Me and my mom looked at the pies and decoration and pumpkin stores and I just got a hot chocolate and 2 candy apples (lmao shut up) but AH! THE WEATHER WAS LOOVEELYYY and I was so sad.. that... I WAS SO SAD. I don't know why, but lately I've been isolating myself from my dad and my sister. I can't say why, but obviously my sister hates me so why should I continue to love someone when I won't recieve it back? Now I know what it's like to take a hint. ANYWAYS, after that...... I went to Miarka's house so she could bring me to Andreas house for her shindig where we would loaft until uhm... a limo came! Since Andrea is latina, turning 15 or having a "quince" is kinda a big deal, so her fam really treated her. It was really cute, and even though some of the night didn't go as she planned, I hope she had a lovely time. We ate at some Japanese place and just talked and talked and ATE =*) Twas coooo. On our way home we were jamming in the limo and serrriiously needed a good song. We called 99.9 about a BILLION FUCKING TIMES LMFAO and Lydia Stratus or whatever bitched at us telling us we clogged the phone line coz we were literally calling her every 5 minutes until they played our damn song, which they didn't. AT ONE POINT IT WAS SO HILARIOUS Paige: *requesting and screaming ensues* 99.9: *bitches at us* we aired you, we - Paige: uhm, NO ya didn't.. 99.9: ok, well, we're just trying to do our job! LMFAO she tried to lie, lolzzzz. K so in the end they didn't play and something was wrong about the theatre reservations, but honestly, who needed it. Andrea's family is so loving and cute and the cake was great and as long as she was happy!! :*) I am really needing a Halloween costume... I don't know what I have in mind, I really want to be the happy camper! I think for now just..... red riding hood will do? I don't wanna bite my sister but lately she has been being selfish. I'm not a push over anymore. Labels: family, party hardy, springridge farm 0 HEARD 'EM SAY  Last night when I was talking to Agustin about my dog, I was googling pics of American Eskimos.If you know me well I would kill myself for a chow chow, but MY DOG is the cutest fucking dog in the world so shut the hell up. YAY American Eskimos! They're just the cuuuutest. I LOVE MY ANGEL BABY =) FOREVA. He really is misunderstood :( *don't get it - lil wayne plays* hahahah. Seriously, when I was younger and crying, I would just go in the laundry room and talk to him and pet him, even if I was scared. Then he would bark at me and I'd bolt the fuck out. I used to be sooo scared of him when going into the laundry room that I would bring a piece of my  breakfast and hold in in one hand until I had to pass by him again. Now we're the greatest of friends. He's grown older and wiser and way more friendlier. HE LOOVES Jace! :)Our relationship kind of reminds me of that of me and my sister's. CUTE AND new when we was youngins, then as we grew older I would try to befriend her but she'd bark back and then we'd not talk until I grew mature and fearless. We're not the greatest of friends, but it's a mutual relationship. She loves Jace, so I think her and Angel are so alike. Plus they're both bitches..... AHHAHA JK. P.S. Angel is a boy, blame my sister for calling her that. Fond memories of Angel:
Then we got SNOWY, which was everyone's FAVOURITE. It was an American Eskimo but it was small forever. Snowy was the kindest and didn't even bark. I can't go into why we lost him... but before we did we had to give Roxy away because my mom couldn't handle having two dogs at once. I miss them both incredibly. Here's what Snowy looked like:  Roxy:  I love: AMERICAN ESKIMOS, CHOW CHOWS, HUSKIES, AND POMERANIANS :) So I was looking through pics and I FOUND A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN! ESKIE X CHOW CHOWTHE FUCK. The picture was sooo cute, so I clicked it, saved it,and apparently there was a story about it and it's INCREDIBLY sad! :( Dog Breed: Unknown Foxy's mom says: After the heartbreaking loss of my first baby, American Eskimo dog Sammie, to lymphoma cancer at the young age of seven, I was not sure I wanted to get another dog at all. The pain of the loss was too great and I thought nothing could fill that void. I also didn't want to go through house-training a new puppy, etc. I just wanted my Sammie back. Then one day I was surfing the Net and stumbled upon Petfinder.com where I saw this beautiful girl, Foxy, who melted my heart. It was truly love at first sight! My husband and I went to the local shelter to see her and couldn't leave without her. We were told that she had been found in an abandoned apartment, locked in a closet. She was a little shy when we first brought her home but quickly became the queen of our home and our hearts. She is the most adorable, sweetest bundle of pure love! She loves to play with her many toys. She loves the snow and loves just to cuddle up next to us. Her favorite games are catch-me-if-you-can, tug of war, and hide-and-seek. Foxy is a joy in our hearts and we love her dearly.         Who in God's name would leave this beautiful dog in an abandoned appartment, TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET (I'm trying my hardest to not make R.Kelly jokes) I think it's meant to be, the new owner clearly treats Foxy like a queen. Foxy was blessed to be there, otherwise who knows what her previous owner would have done. EDIT: I clearly have no life but... DID YOU KNOW THERE'S PUPPY SCHOOL?! HAHA that is SO cute. http://www.dailypuppy.com/puppies/Baxter-the-Mixed-Breed_2008-08-31 He also loves to play with all his puppy friends in puppy class!this was SUCH a cute comment, ahaha... Albeit, a bit pervy ;)
Labels: angel. dog, family, love, omg 2 HEARD 'EM SAY FRIDAY- BIRKS>MY DADS BDAY PARTY (CRY FEST!!!!!) SATURDAY- SHERWAY>KARIYA>DEMETRES>BOBOT>GOETZ>BOBOT>HOME SUNDAY- EVERYONE LEAVES>WORK LATER
I seriously thought it was Jace's. YOU WOULD GET IT IF YOU WERE IN MY FAMILY. Anyways, Estrella week is officially over today! :'( I know it seems like I could give less than two fucks about them and more about my ~*~* stuff *~*~ (I certainly act that way sometimes... :() BUT I love them so fucking much. MY FAMILY! I won't ever take them for granted. I'm glad I get to realize this now before I regret acting like an ass and they're all gone and we're farther than we already are now. Little do we appreciate what is not always in reach. For my dad's birthday it was ALL LOVE. The slideshow, awards ceremony, and game of mafia, and the birth of my love for wii fit! I can honestly say, if anything brought us all closer together it must have been this one moment during the presentation when..... haha I won't continue or list names but I'll give you this: CRY FEST 08 LULZ. I already gave him BF: Bad Company (own money MOFOCKA!) and Pia gave him Wii fit so it was up to my mom to wow him. She (or "we" lol) bought him a fuckin bomb watch! ANYTHING TO MAKE THE GUY WHO HAS EVERYTHING AND GIVES EVERYTHING HAPPY. Yesterday was the FAMILY PHOTOSHOOT since we don't really have pics of the new generation. Well, now we do. Before that, though, went to SHERWAY and SQUARE just to pick up something. But SHERWAY OMG I HATE YOU SHERWAY! :'( BRB DYING FOR THAT ABERCROMBIE OXFORD SHIRT AHAHAH.  I did make some purchases at AA, though ♥ !!!  (IN BLUE)As odd as it sounds, I've never seen this?  I REALLY LIKE IT! :)If you know me well, you would know I refuse to walk out of AA without buying something. NOT REFUSE but I JUST CAN'T everything is so irresistibly chic!!!!!! I'm not proud, it's just a bad habit. DAMN YOU, AA. Cannot control myself in there, trusst.. hahah. Then my dad bought these for my cousin Cassie, she really wanted them:  High-waisted lame leggings in.... dare I say it? BLACK EEL!!!!yIKES, but that girl can pull it off, I trust her. ANYPOO. MOVING ON: We went to Kariya Park (so beautiful, and nice weather outside, yet still not "ideal" for picture taking because of shadows and what not) FUCK IT it was actually fun... The dress code was white shirt and jeans... I got in a bit of a dilemma because I wore my aa v-neck and high waisted shorts. Cassie wore the v-neck her mom bought her just to make her happy, but she wanted her own white shirt.... sooo eh. ANYYWAYS, she wanted high waisted shorts, too so Pia let her borrow them and we went there was twins! :s I was in no mood for stress so I just untucked my v-neck to wear it differently for the pics. Later at demetres I STEERED AWAY FROM THE LAST STRAW!!I "created my own" IT WAS HEAVENLY: a crepe on top of vanilla ice cream, white chocolate sauce, bannanas and strawberries! =') LOVED IT! Yet couldn't finish it :( FULL AS A MOFOCKA. After we went to Tito Bobots to eat and I found my LOVELIES Micah, Kevin, Dave, and all my Estrella cousins came, too! It was a mini jam. We went to GOETZ so Cassie could meet her chop (LOL JK) "classmate" I mean... Seems everyone finds love in Canada (ie. Darryl's "classmate", lolo's "flavour- rocky road" OOOOH SHIT. NO DEETS! Later...... headed home to make a home video for Tita Bess, ran some last minute missions to Wal-Mart to buy her a frame to put our pic in, stickers, and pretty jewels and stuff to decorate with, I wish I had a pic, it was so LOVELY! :) WE'RE SO SWEET NAMAN. haha. THEN THIS MORNING I WAKE UP TO SEE MY ROOM CLEAN FOR ONCE. EVERYONE IS GONE AND I AM STARTING WORK, THIS SUCKS Labels: family, food, life, party hardy, photography 0 HEARD 'EM SAY I've been M.I.A. and it's awesome. Friday..... Cousins came over and we played Halo and stuff. Saturday..... I worked and it was Regine's 18th right after! Boy, was I busy. (see flickr for pics) Sunday..... Packed and left for Blue Mountain, JACUZZI'D'D'D =') EXPLORED them swiss chalets (real ones, lol), saw Hogwarts (lmfao), watched horror films with my new best friends, Alyssa and Joan. They are so interesting! They are from Luxembourg and are my aunt's best friend's daughter and her cousin, so they stayed with us at the cottage and Cassie and I shared a room with them, we talked and talked, it was really cute/sad/whatever. They're soooo cool, both half Luxem and half filipina. I'm SOO jealous they can speak English, French, German, Luxembourg language, and Tagalog a little bit, ahah!! We also had the most hectic game of cranium possible :@ Monday..... We went to Wasaga beach! SOOOO COLD. EVERYONE (but me) played soccer, while I explored the park with my iPod, haha I'm such a loner. MMM the tim hortons really warmed me up, though! :*) After wards we ate and ate and ate tacos, pizza, kfc, fa-jie-tahs, HAHAHA. I bought some back 2 school stuff at wal-mart, but I still need binders and pencil crayons. We stayed up all night playing mafia and writing penis, drawing penis, drawing vajay, and gay on Darryl, and sticking pads all over the guys. TOOK PIX AND THAT POON SHIT DELETED THE OFF MY CAMERA!!!!!! :@ TUESDAY...... Headed home, went to Georgian Bay to visit a sweet church, ate the coldest chicken ever, and they all played soccer again. When we got home we went to Vaughan Mills and I bought these puffy pens and a purple pen, SOOOO CUTE =*) I also bought a pink AMEKA straightener, it's so cool but I haven't tried it for myself yet (too scared) After that, we went to Meghan's house, biked to the bark, played ball, played at the bark, talked, soccer a little bit. WEDNESDAY..... Went to Fallsview Casino, walked SOO far to Clifton Hills where I saw this criminal wax museum and HITLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted a pic but no one let me. lATER, We went to Planet Hollywood to eat spending nearly fucking 350 dollars for us because everyone had crazyyyyy fucking drinks, but they were all looking so good. I just had a Shirley Temple myself, and tried a Bananarama, which was equally good. But the rest had alcoholskis. For my meal I ate Onion rings, this nacho shit, chicken tenders (they were in the Terminator), penne, chicken, and broccolli (which came in but I DIDN'T eat :(). WALKED BACK (ughhhhhh so long) and SWAM SWAM SWAM, met the cutest little 3 year old half breed filipina (they are common now, yeah! haha) Her dad was so cool throwing in some flip words and she joined me in the jacuzzi playing with bubbles and splashing me!!!! =******)! I wanted to cry because she was so cute. Jace had a crush on her saying "I like her" HE WAS SO HAPPY AND SHOWING OFF SOOO CUTELY. Afterwards, played maddd cards, hahaha. Tong its (or whatever that shit is) Crazy 8s, Lucky 9 (still dont get it), and of course, Speed. I left really late that night while my cousins stayed over night there. TODAY...... is Eleisha's surprise party at 5! I'm so excited to see that fucker! Labels: beach, BIRTHDAY, camera, cottage, family, party hardy, shopping, travel 0 HEARD 'EM SAY Proof that my best friend is ACTUALLY a dude " MERMEX ktbpa says: (12:50:03 AM) I'm not surprised. I was so close to losing it, and she didn't even have to ask how close. I effing LOVE afflickie <3 my LOVE! 08.19.69 SINCE '69 BAAYBEH I don't keep track of how often we bond(-age) ahhaha (not me and afflickie, me & monchron) but it's not frequent. However, when we do talk she's the only person capable to making me laugh the most and still talk to :*) I usually doubt that best friends ARE real... even though I say it, but like.... it's not about how many times you see him or her, how many times you spend time with him or her, but how every time you do it all explodes in happiness, regardless of if the time someone is pissed the fuck off, best friends are there for the important times and willing to help, they never let you down. BRB KILLING MYSELF OVER CORNINESS. For example, This whole year I kind of doubted Eleisha because she wouldn't call, go on msn. She spent more time with Mabel than me, even at school. I'm fine with that because we still never feel that we drift when we're talking. Emily on the other hand is like.. gone. And has my stuff, lol. I really love this girl, I consider her my best firends, but even when I try to contact her she would make no effort to reply, or contact me. She clearly has other friends, and that's cool. Sometimes I just want to be there to look out for her, though. But yeah, LIFE GOES ON. No more sulking. I've got the greatest friends. Tim, Danny, and Janvir make me feel so comfortable and it's never awkward because of how we communicate, it's like they're my brothers, and I love them SO much :) I guess when you're in a family unwilling to make the slightest bit interest interest in you, you turn to your friends! Don't get my wrong, my mom and my dad love me, but I feel as if they don't really give a shit about how happy I am just as long as they know where I'm going, how long 'til, who its with, and how I'll get there/home. Maybe that is the way they show it, but it's a crappy way, IMO.. If there's one thing for sure, it's my sister who isn't willing AT ALL to act her age or her role in my life to me. I fucking do everything for her AND Jace and she won't clean the fuck up... The mess and her act. And I don't clean up either, but I'll always end up cleaning JACE's stuff. I understand you're busy with school/work and shit but that's no excuse for treating me as a parasite. I run up to hug you and you fucking push me away and say ew. You think I do it just to annoy you but I just say that to other people because they don't fucking understand you like I do. If I told them I meant it, HOW EMBARRASSING would that sound? I love my sister but she hates me and always have. I know I said this before, but Jace hates me, and I think it's because Pia and Joe do. Sometimes I get it that they're just teasing me, but when does kidding around cross the line and hurts people? You obviously don't give a shit, and how foolish was it for me to keep trying? Caroline was right, what's the point of being nice to someone when it's CLEAR that they're being rude and won't be the same to you back. I've tried already, how many times...? If I'm a bitch, you'll just get bitchier, but I'M NOT GIVING YOU SHIT until you fucking grow up and become a sister. 15 years of your absence of love substituted with presents and drives from point a to point b. I appreciate that, but it still means nothing because they are mindless things. Buying presents, being forced to do something for me. How does that show your love? The only thing I truly respect was that christmas card you didn't give me or finish that I found the next day. Maybe I'm bitter because other people have nicer siblings, but hey, if you have a sibling, don't ever take them for granted because you're really LOSING A LOVED one without them actually leaving. When will you stop treating me as worthless and see how much I sacrifice for you? When will you stop this bad girl image. You say you love me but I don't for one second buy it because you're back to ur bitch ass ways sooner or later. Of course it's to cover up how much you "love me" but if you can't prove it, I guess it's not true. Stop giving me something to hope on, it just makes things worse. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HOPE FOR IT. Anyways, sorry for the MADD ventage (you're damn right that's a madd with double d's) but yeah. LOVE is being stressful at the moment. The guy I thought I liked... isn't the same to me anymore. We talked for a while but I'm not really into him anymore, well at all. I just lost interest. Everyone says he likes me now, and it's probably not true, atleast I hope so because I really hate leading people on or avoiding them I just insist on them stop liking me. So he keeps trying to get at me, and I keep dodging these bullets. It's hard for me to reconfirm why I'm not interested, but I'm actually positive now that it's because as soon as someone I'm interested in (actually it doesnt matter, this goes for everyone except girls that are friends... just boys) is quickly showing affection to me, I HAVE to get the fuck outta the situation because I'm scared. I honestly am, of commitment, love,I like to take things really slow, and I like to love people after I know them. I'm convinced that the only guys I will date have to go through this three step program 1. become my best friend (steps 2 and 3 stolen form underwear gnomes of South Park) hahhaah well, the first one is a big step. Just a tip fellas, if you can make me "LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG" then ur halfway there :P 0 HEARD 'EM SAY music: la la la - lil wayne (ITS WEEEZY BAAAYYBEH!)...hahahha fuck! mood: chill and embarassed So, last night was semi. See below for the pictarz Kevin Antonio was hooking me up with some juiice... like not a lot... but Jensy gave me some too :D mission shitfaced FAILED. I'm convinced that I wont ever get shitfaced... ever. I'm somewhat okay with that. I want just one night before school starts. Add that to the to do list. Anyyyways, back to semi. It sOunded SOOO lame, like.... C'MON, Wild Water Kingdom? really?!?! hahaha.. it was okay though.... ppl were fucking making a shit out of it like planning after parties, R U SRS?! LAAAAAAAAME!!!! But yaya ate, chilled, took pics, then the bloodening right after desert and before the main mealio forced me to dipppp. My cousin fucking got 3 nose bleeds... He's been getting them every day for 3 weeks at odd hours of the night. The first aid staff at wwk had to rush to his aid and I stayed right outside the boys washroom the whole cottdamn time while ppl were dancing. I was a little pissed, but I had no right to because he could be in serious health risks. So, my aunt forced me to leave the part at around 11.... when it was supposed to end at 2 (so unreasonable :*() and sarah tagged along being the darling that she is. For some stupid reason we stayed at the hospital... haha ok I was a bigggg bitch coz I was soo pissed idk I wasted like 30 bucks to eat shit food and get dressed so I dont think it was worth the time. but ANYWAYS, l'hopital... i was acting up so my aunt brought me & sarah home and I crashed at my bed immediately, waking up to realize how ashamed of myself I was. I'm such a bitch and I dont even realize it sometimes. I end up HATING my family for being so embarassing and not letting me do whatever I want, not letting me have the freedom others have! And yet, many times i fail to realize that I am really privileged. Perhaps the boys are right, I am a bit of a brat :P Nonetheless, I need to stop comparing myself to my friends and just realize I'M NOT THEM and shit is different.. everything DOES happen for a reason, and I dig that. Maybe I wasn't supposed ot blaze or get drunk all the times I wanted because God doesn't believe it's right for me. Sometimes I isolate myself from my family because I dont agree with anything or anyone in it. I frown upon all of them as a righteous ass pretentious 15 year old wanna be punk nerd ass fucked up SANDY VAGINA BRAT. & now I guess I should save this hardcore fashion loving BULLSHIT for the last week of summer because I want to be the one good uncoorrupted Estrella/De Guzman. I feel fucking embarrassed to say this, but not one NOT ONE fucking member of my family has wed before getting pregnant. And I don't ever care about sex/chastity/ any of that... but seeing how pissed I am to know this information it makes me want to devout my life as pure (in that cherry popping sense aahha) Every kid wants a life and being a teenager is ALLEGEDLY the most fun people have in their lives, so sometimes I'll question this- is it really worth the pride? throwing away your youth? maybe it it is, maybe it isnt, but I just dont wanna fuck up my life. To compromise for the mixed emotions I'm getting..... the word of the day... or decade, rather.. is limit....with a little bit of priority. Keeping in mind that happiness is also a priority but there are limits to it... and there are other ways t have fun without being a badass :P behold- tranny in dress ahead(mee haha):  shes too pretty to take a picture with :( might as WELL rename this "perversions of patricia album" :(! haha ok im such a pervert ahah hahah i HAD to throw this in, credits to lol_nazis @ lj comm  wtf is wrong with my skin? JAUNDICE, right hurr. loveliesss fam jam they MADE me do this!!! brb crying being around all these qtier than me's. guess what, I'm COOL :)In other random ass ramblings: unnecessary is probably my most favourite word... EVER. i can't help myself to laughing everytime i hear it? to do: pmall with eleisha downtown with the homies blaze shitface/piss drunk nite with...? youtube videos HAHAHA cottage with fam? (eeeee...) leearn to skateboard wild water kingdom with the boyssss go kart paintball polaroids roller skate party photo shoot lmfao TO BUY: new striaghtener new phone colourful binders white out lead cool pens + pencils skateboard polaroid films ms points school shoes bonus material: Earlier the day, well at around midnight- I made cookies & saved them for Artemio. The next morning I ended up ditching Kensington coz... well I woke up too late :( I curled my hair and biked over to Timmy's. We watched my FAVE show, Filmore, Guitar Hero'd. and Danny came.. then Nkechi demanded her xbox shiz (I think) and brought my charger. In pursuit of a semi dress, I spotted them bus tickets to Square and then we just kind of loafted. I found a lovely dress at Le Chateau but unfortch, I don't have the boobs for it! :@ It's a gradient of dark blue to light blue and it's sleveless and the titties are wrapped, hahaha. Anywhoooo, I had to dip because it was 5 and I needed to be at semi by 6.30 selon de kevin BUT STILL get ready with sarah, elaine, charlene... eh I ended up getting there at like maybe later than 8 because I LEFT MY DADS IPHONE @ TIMS! I went to his house and left them at Square with Jericho while they ate Johnny Rockets and I just missioned to Tims house and walked home after frantically searching for my dads phone...I left the bike there forTim to borrow so we could go biking some time. By the time YI got home it was like.. 6 and I got dressed to go to Kevins (cousin) house so I could go to sarahs house HAHA I knew I would be late but that wasn't nearly the end of it. Loafted @ Kevins for a while then went to Sarahs and loafted a bit with my love, KARINA! :) She's so coool =*) After that, we left on our way to Char's bf. Anyways yeah on our way there we saw Elaine and her date! HAHA. We arrived at Le Jardin, finally, which was BEAUUTIFUL :*) :*) (just like a castle/ a dream come true! An ideal place for a PRINCESS like me :) :) )I wanna have my party there but I NEED A POOL WTF! maybe I could have an after party @ a hotel and then youuu know check in some rooms :D Surprisingly, we still waited a few minutes until the frikkin appetizers had to come so im glad we were late, otherwise awkward drama and chilling would insue. soo yeah, MISSION ACCOMPLISH... little did i know how the rest of my night would go!! When we arrived, everyone was as cute as could be :D Labels: family, friends, hospital, life, party hardy, sex, to buy, to do, work 1 HEARD 'EM SAY |
